Nevermind.
I don't know WTF caused it in the first place, but the solution for me was easy enough (once I *found* it):
Open the registry editor and go to HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Windows NT\CurrentVersion\TaskManager
Under that key I found two strings, Preferences and UsrColumn Settings. I deleted both of them, and when I restarted TaskMgr everything was back to normal. My columns and settings were lost, but the update intervals were corrected, and it's easy enough to fix the other stuff.
Now if only I could figure out *why* this happened in the first place.... 1 second is far more useful than 2 seconds, especially if you're worried about network traffic. What would be ideal is if MS just had an open way to set *any* interval, since there are probably people out there that would like to only update once every 10 seconds or something. (I say "open way" because there appears to be some hidden way that no one really understands - and I managed to somehow access it accidentally.)
Gigabyte GA-DQ6-X38 | Core 2 Quad Q6600
CPU @ 9x367 (3.33GHz) | OCZ 2x2GB DDR2-800 4-4-4-12
2 x ATI HD 3870 CrossFire | 750GB and 320GB HDD
and it's true all their news is old news since i hang out here LOL, but my uncle loves the mag even though he doesn't really know whats up(the one who joked about overclocking his laptop) 
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